My Long Lost Cousin, in his younger days, was a telephone installer. He related this story to me:
“I was with another installer in a high rise building on the 20th floor. We were putting in several telephones on that floor. A fat lady came out of a flat and said:
“Are you the telephone man?”
Now, I was carrying a few new phones and I thought that was a dumb question.
So, I said: “No lady, we’re plumbers!”
The fat lady smiled and said: “I have a dripping facet, can you come in and fix it?” She had a new washer to install.
She offered me $10, so I had a few minutes to spare and the money would buy the drinks after work.
I proceeded to unscrew the facet and the water suddenly was spurting out all over the bathroom!
“Where’s the stop cock?”
The fat lady said: “I don’t know, I just moved in!”
The water is now coming out of the bathroom into the hallway!
I ran through the apartment looking for the stop cock. I finally found it in the kitchen. I turned the water off!
But now, the water has leaked to the downstairs flat. A big burley guy comes up and grabs me. He shakes me violently!
“Don’t you know your business?” he shouts.
“I’m the telephone man,” I whispered.
“He told me he was the plumber,” said the fat lady.
The burley guy gave me a right hook to the jaw! I ran to the elevator and got out of the building, never to return again!
Well, my cousin’s partner finished the installations that day.
My LLC vowed he would never be a SMART ASS again!