I was sitting on a green padded stool at the bar in the corner of my favorite watering hole. I’ve come here so much that I think of it as “Dave’s Corner”.
And who should walk in, but my Long Lost Cousin. In all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, he walks into mine! I think that was Bogart’s phrase in Casablanca. It was quite appropriate on this occasion!
“Hey cousin, why so glum looking?”
“I’m a pensioner now and the time seems to be flying by. I can’t keep up. I’m frightened!”
He did look pale!
“Bartender, give my cousin a gin and tonic and another beer for me.”
My cousin drank his drink fast, and re-ordered!
“Why are you frightened?”
“I feel like shouting, “Stop the world, I want to get off!”. But I’m not quite ready to jump off. I want to stop time from racing away from me. The faster time goes, the more I have to face the fact that my time is running out!”
“Well, cousin, you need to live each day to the full.”
LLC shifted his weight on the green padded stool.
“Cousin, how can you be so calm, you’re older than I am!”
“My dear cousin, I will not live in fear. What will be, will be!”
“I’m starting to feel that when youth is gone, the party is over.”
LLC’s voice and hands were shaky.
“Relax, my friend, you’ll live longer!”
“Oh, that’s real funny cousin. But WHY is this happening?”
I felt sorry for him. He was a bundle of nerves.
“Well, cousin, there are a few theories: One theory is that fewer NEW things happen in an old person’s life. There is constant routine which makes time seem to fly.”
“Oh great, now I’m going to be old and bored!”
“Hold on, here’s theory number two: Years are proportionally smaller as we get older. For example: A year is l/10th of the life of a 10 year old, but a year is 1/70th of the life of a 70 year old. Therefore, each year feels shorter relative to all the time we’ve lived and thus time seems to be going faster!”
“Too many theories, it’s boggling my mind. Age doesn’t always bring wisdom, you know, in my case it came alone!”
I smiled: “Well, at least you haven’t completely lost your sense of humor!”
“What’s theory three, not that it makes any difference.”
“You’ll like this one. Your biological clock slows down, so that means your bodily processes slow down, so your internal clock is much slower than the calendar! So, time passes much quicker than you expected it to!”
“Now I am miserable.”
“Cousin, you need to get some fun in your life.”
“Why! They say: Time flies when you’re having fun. But when you’re old, time flies whether you’re having fun of not!”
“Cousin, maybe it would help if you lived in the Present more.”
“Oh, I give up! We are all born to die and we’re certain it is going to happen. Since I am in my 7th decade, for me this inevitability will probably occur sometime within the next 20 or so years. It seems like a long time but the years are accelerating. So when it does occur, my reaction will be: “WHAT! ALREADY!”