Creating a Cultural Ape (Human)

This cultural ape would live in a collective organisational system (industrialised society).

One day when my buddy Tom and I were in the End of the Line Tavern sitting on our green-padded stools, I posed this question.

Could you redesign a chimpanzee to be a human, in other words a cultural ape?

“Well Dave, this would be a good question to ponder on our stools and it would be fun.”

“Okay Tom, what’s the first trait you would build into your cultural animal?”

Tom’s eyes lit up, I knew the stools (green-padded) would work their magic.

“Well Dave, the chimpanzee would need a very strong urge to form social connections with others.”

“That’s right, Tom, our creation would need a strong need to BELONG.”

We both sipped our soft drinks. Tom had got me onto less alcohol.

“Second, it would need to identify with large groups such as a Nation.

Tom spoke up, “Third, our creation would need a MIND that recognises that others have inner states similar to his,, which makes communication and empathy and understanding possible.”

“Bang on, Tom, our creation would need to belong to a commune of others so they could shape knowledge and work together.”

“Fourth, so our creation could work with others, it would need the ability to make themselves act appropriately and according to the norms of society.”

“To do this our creation would need self-awareness.”

“Dave, I just thought of the Fifth trait.

The creation would need to be able to PROCESS a large amount of information.

His brain would need an extremely large storage capacity to hold the info.”

“Sixth, to be cultural would require a Socialization Process to learn the Rules for behaviour in society.”

“Seventh, our creation would need a decision-making apparatus. It would need to make Choices as to what to do that’s best.”

“Dave, I’ve got the last trait.

It would need SELF-CONTROL to override bad responses and regulate itself.”

“That’s right, Tom, it would need to be able to handle ever changing social circumstances and control its own inner states and action tendencies.”

“Well Tom, we have created a human being from a chimpanzee.

HOW ABOUT THAT!”

We both smiled and finished our drinks.

THE GREEN-PADDED STOOLS HAVE DONE IT AGAIN: pondered life’s great questions!!!

 

2 thoughts on “Creating a Cultural Ape (Human)

  1. HANG ON DAVE WHILE I FINISH MY BANANA. OK, I’M DONE.
    NOW THAT WE HAVE CREATED THIS CREATURE WHO SEEMS TO BE MORE ABLE TO LIVE IN OUR WORLD THAN WE ARE. I THINK WE HAVE TO MAKE HIM (OR HER) OUR FRIEND. ALTHOUGH THE CHIMP IS SMART, IT IS ALSO THE HARRIEST FRIEND I HAVE. I MEAN, I DON’T WANT TO SEEM LIKE I’M BETTER THAN BOBO, ( I NAMED HIM) BUT I CAN GET ON A BUS WITHOUT SCARING EVERYONE. AH, DAVE, I THINK WE’RE GETTING OLD. I’M LOSING MY BRAIN CELLS ONE AT A TIME. WHEN I’M LYING IN BED I CAN HEAR “POOF, POOF”, THOSE ARE THE BRAIN CELLS EVAPORATING. SO WITH WHATEVER CELLS I HAVE LEFT I WILL SIGN OFF TIL THE NEXT TIME WE SIT ON THOSE BEAUTIFUL GREEN PADDED STOOLS.
    LOVE YA BUDDY.

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