You Own Your Life

“I want to have some control over my own life. I don’t want to lose my dignity. It’s torment to live with this illness when I can die right now and let death relieve my suffering.”

This was said by a person suffering from dementia, which was slowly taking their personality away.

Someone once said: “Why are many people more appalled by an UNNATURAL form of dying than by an UNNATURAL form of living?”

This is a statement that shows great knowledge and insight. Death comes to us all sooner or later. We all would like it to come without extreme pain and anguish. Often it comes naturally from heart failure, stroke or in our sleep, and it comes suddenly.

But not always. Free-thinkers, people who form their own opinions about subjects instead of accepting what others say, know that sometimes death comes after long periods of pain and loss of dignity. In that case, it’s wise to have a plan of action and, if possible, when one is in fairly good health.

Assisted or unassisted dying or self-deliverance, whatever you call it, it is a deeply personal choice. Death is a private matter. It can quickly end a person’s pain, suffering and low quality of life, allowing them to die with dignity.

The religious argument is that it is against the word and will of God. If you are not religious, that argument means nothing to you.

The other argument is that laws in favor of voluntary euthanasia are the start of a “slippery slope” that leads to practices that aren’t acceptable to the majority of society and to voluntary suicide.

Remember, we are talking about a person’s private, personal choice, it basically only has to do with the individual themselves. A person that believes in dignity in dying demands choice and control at the end of their life.


Ending your life, if you are facing unbearable pain and loss of quality of life with no cure, is the most personal and difficult decision you will ever make.

If you continue to go on, in the above circumstances, you will endure pain and indignity. You will wait for the inevitable end, which may be weeks, months or years away.


Everyone has the right to their choice in this matter without interference from the opinions of others. Religious people have the right to their belief that one’s life belongs to God and only He can take it away. But religious beliefs should not be imposed on others.

Many people believe that their life belongs to them and the laws need to be changed. It seems perverse to block the chance to relieve suffering and loss of quality of life.


Many people with illnesses and dementia, where there is no possibility of cure, choose to die at home on their own terms. Some don’t want to involve others, if possible, they prefer self-deliverance, which is taking their own life to escape suffering by taking a lethal cocktail, for example.

As far as palliative care by a health service goes, there are many horror stories of people dying in hospitals or care homes left hungry and thirsty. Many don’t even get enough pain relief or sufficient help with personal needs such as washing or going to the toilet. In many cases palliative care is inadequate.


Many people want the right to die without unbearable suffering and loss of dignity. Nobody is forcing people to take their own lives, it’s a CHOICE. So please don’t interfere with those who choose to do so.


Also published on Medium.

6 thoughts on “You Own Your Life

  1. Bravo Dave!
    Anyone who has ever put a pet to sleep knows that it is the right thing to do.
    Why haven’t we got the same right. As long as we are able to make that decision, it should be ours to make.
    Ever since I gave my wife the right to pull the plug on me, she has been watching me like a hawk just waiting. Watching and waiting. Watching and waiting.

  2. Interesting feature in today’s Daily Telegraph on the same subject :i/vw w/ BBC’s John Simpson .He’s a fit 71 w/ a 10 yo son …also has forty-something daughters from his 1st marriage …who,incidentally, I taught ….{^_^}

  3. Great take on what is happening. I realize everyone has a right
    to make their own choice on this. Watching them suffer is another
    thing. Personel choice should be our first concern. I am sorry to
    say I found it hard to watch a loved one die. But he made his
    choice to stay home. I know he would of died no matter if he
    was in the hospital or home. All I can say is the suffering has
    ended. I will love him tell I die. Thats true love.

  4. From a spiritual POV, one should not seek to end one’s own life. We have a defined lifespan & we should live it out. There are repercussions. But…… a life grown intolerable through pain or illness and an easy way out is an attraction which might prove irresistible. Each person must decide for themselves: this can’t be legislated for: many people find enjoyment in a life which, seen from the outside, might look hopelessly limited. I fear that legislation may enter into the debate and take away any choices.

  5. Dawn Lancaster said:
    This is an excellent post, Dave. Ironically, I have a situation with someone rt. Now who is not gravely ill, but in severe depression. There is no way to help this person when they will not listen or accept yr help and all you can do is watch them get progressively worse and not know when it could come to an end. This person has tried suicide when intoxicated and has and does talk about suicide constantly. This is extremely painful for the person as well as the family having to witness the pain of their very much loved one.

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