What’s Your Anxiety and Why?

I was sitting on a green padded stool in my favorite watering hole, when who should pop in but my Long Lost Cousin. Long Lost because we just met again after some fifty years!

He jumped up on the stool next to me and said:

“Hey Cousin, I’ll take a whiskey please. I need one badly!”

He looked very stressed so I ordered him a whiskey and I stuck with my beer.

“What’s the problem, Cousin?” I said distressed by his haggard appearance.

“I seem to be plagued recently by panic attacks and phobias, you know generalized anxiety.”

He gulped the shot down and ordered another!

“I seem to have an obsession to do everything perfectly. I like to be in control of things and I want approval of everything I do.”

“Well, it sounds like you’ve got the traits that perpetuate anxiety. I wish there was a couch here you could lie down on.”

“Never mind the couch, what are the traits?” he stammered.

“Perfectionism, the need for approval and control.”

“How did this come about?’ he said quizzically.

“Well, these traits most likely come from childhood experiences.”

“What do you mean?”

“For example, if you were constantly criticized by your parents, you would feel like nothing you do was good enough. So you would try to do things perfectly.”

“Oh Cousin, I feel so burnt out lately.”

I felt really sorry for this fellow who was my long lost blood relation.

“It’s a vicious circle, Cousin, your perfectionism drives you to the point of exhaustion and burnout! You’re always thinking, “I must” or “I have to”, and then you feel more anxiety.”

My Cousin looked completely drained.

“Why do I need approval all the time?”

“To begin with you’re putting too many demands on yourself. All humans need approval from time to time, but being overly concerned with approval is a sign of thinking you’re flawed and unworthy.”

“I think that the approval and acceptance by others of me is very important.”

“Just say to yourself, it’s not necessary to get the approval of everyone. You need to believe in yourself.”

My Cousin started rubbing his shoulder and neck.

“You’re feeling stress right now, aren’t you, Cousin?”

“Yes, I get a lot of muscle cramps and spasms.”

“What about my need for control?”

“You want life to be predictable, that’s impossible!”

He winced with the pain of a cramp!

“If you grow up with trauma and most people have some in their life, you get frightened and feel the world is hostile, so you get defensive and you want to control things.”

“Help! How do I get off this merry-go-round? Stop the world, I want to get off!”

“Relax Cousin, I’ll give you a list of things to say to yourself that should calm you down.”

“Hurry, what’s on the list?” he said grabbing my arm.

“You need to accept life’s unpredictability, so say to yourself:

I’m learning to take life as it comes.

I will let go and trust that things will work out.

I can relax and tolerate a little disorder in life.

I’m learning not to take myself or life so seriously.”

“Thanks Cousin, that sounds like a good approach to life’s problems.”

I smiled and said:

“You need lots of humor to contend with life.

I enjoy popping plastic bubble wrap, it’s much cheaper than therapy!”

The Flawed Man

I was sitting on a park bench taking in the fresh air and the passing parade. When my friend, Jim, happened by and sat down next to me looking like a rag doll.

“Beautiful day, isn’t it, Jim?”

“Not for me it isn’t. My wife just told me to take a walk because I was irritating her. She said I have nothing but bad traits!” Jim was very glum.

“That sounds serious, Jim. Don’t you have any positive traits?”

“Not according to the little woman.”

I scratched my head and thought this is highly unusual. A 100% Flawed Man!

“Well Jim, personality theory says that all of us have about 5-10 traits that define us.”

“Well, my wife listed a few. She says I’m abrasive, confrontational, cynical, tactless, impatient and ungrateful!”

“Wow! That’s quite a list. But I’m sure she’s not perfect either,” I said raising my eyebrows.

“Lets not talk about her. I’ve got enough on my plate with myself!”

I shook my head.

“There’s a few more bad traits she mentioned but I can’t remember them all. She says I’m a completely flawed man. Can you help me?”

“Well, my friend, what positive traits do you think your wife would like you to have?”

“Lets see, she has mentioned some: Loving and affectionate, appreciative, kind, enthusiastic, patient and cooperative.”

“Lets look at these attributes and see if you can create some in yourself. Maybe you can change from flawed to positive!”

I put my specs on so I looked the part of a psychologist!

“All your attributes arise from many sources, fears, desires, likes, dislikes and past experiences. It gets complicated. But now, lets look at the good traits your wife wants you to have.”

“She wants you to be cooperative: This is a must because if you don’t think cooperation is necessary, just watch what happens to a wagon if one wheel comes off!”

Jim smiled and nodded his head.

“Your wife wants you to be enthusiastic. Why? Because he who has no fire in him cannot warm others, namely your wife!

Your wife wants you to be kind. She says you have many faults, but people will overlook your faults if you are kind!

You need appreciation because it is always appreciated!

Patience is a great attribute because if you are patient with the faults of others; they will be patient with yours!

Show you affection, your loving side, get it out in the open because:

Age is like love. It cannot be hidden!”

“That list is great. I’ll have to pick up on those,” said Jim eagerly.

“So, now you know why your wife wants you to have those attributes. Acquire them and you won’t be a flawed man anymore.

Jim looked entirely different from when he first sat down on the park bench!

“You and your wife will be content if you have good traits.

Remember: All the world lives in two tents: Content and Discontent!”

Life Begins At Seventy!

So, you’re 70! I’ll open with a few laughs:

You now can look forward to being Eighty!

Be happy, you’re younger than Joan Collins and Clint Eastwood!

If your laughter lines are anything to go by, you’ve had a fabulous fun-filled life!

***

At this time of life, Death doesn’t scare you!

Because after 70 you’ve had time to grow accustomed to your mortality.

 

Of course, old age is accompanied by aches and pains and lack of mobility.

But you are more content now than when you were younger.

Remember what Bette Davis said:

“Old age is no place for sissies!”

 

We are fortunate that we have the internet, it enables the shops to come to us and we order online.

Email, Facebook, Twitter and Blogging enable us to join the conversation of the world.

 

I can still get about or should I say LIMP about!

 

I’m fortunate I am a writer. You can still write whatever age you are.

 

Of course we fear dementia and Alzheimer’s. An early symptom is the loss of smell-so I keep sniffing-so far, so good.

 

We know the quality of life begins to fall for people in their 70’s, but as long as you have your marbles-you cope.

 

When you’re in your eighth decade, inhibition diminishes, you realize you’re not going to live forever!

A new fearlessness dawns and you fully enjoy your moments and you’re not afraid to speak your mind.

 

Our only fears are the possibility of a long and painful illness and the fear of being a burden on anybody.

So you hope to keep a semblance of health until the end.

 

A friend of mine, at 75, summed it all up. He said:

“I’ve tried to be all I can be…

I’ve accomplished as much as I can…

I find that I like me better now than I did when I was younger…

I am proud of what I am today…

My life is drawing to a close and I can honestly say I am happy…

What more could anyone ask for?”

 

If the biblical “Three Score and Ten” is to be believed, then everyone over 70 is living on borrowed time.

So, Enjoy Everyday!

Life Is Beginning!

 

The Transformation

I recently took my friend, Jim, to a social function. There were about a hundred people milling about. It was a Book Fair. There were writers in attendance and people who love reading and discussing books generally.

I conversed with many people but Jim just tagged along not saying more than one or two words!

Then we sat down for lunch at a table with eight people. We were all chatting but Jim was mute! I asked him afterward what was wrong? Didn’t he enjoy the Book Fair?

It all came out, he told me about his shyness and social anxiety. I had to help him.

“I find it difficult to contribute to the conversation,” said Jim.

“Well, Jim, you need some social confidence so you will be fulfilled in your life.”

“How do I get that?” he said quizzically.

“First, you have to Know Yourself. You must know who you are so you can have the courage to live, speak and act with confidence. It’s an evolutionary process, you are constantly in a state of “becoming.”

“How do I start knowing myself?”

“Well, my friend, you have to know the ropes in order to pull the strings. Here are the ropes:

Pay attention to yourself in your present moments. Be aware of what you say and do and how you interact with others.”

“I can do that, I guess.”

“Good, then you will learn about your personality. Also, try to understand your unique qualities and traits.”

“I know some of those,” he said.

“Next, know your strengths and weaknesses. Accept yourself and try to improve. Grow everyday and learn more about your passions, what you enjoy doing.”

“I still get scared when I’m in a large group.”

“You can conquer your fear and use it to motivate yourself to do what you want to accomplish. Act in the face of fear.”

“I’ll try.”

“Don’t be afraid to go out on a limb because that’s where the fruit is.”

“I find I usually have to think twice before I speak consequently I don’t get into the conversation!”

“People will think you’re an intelligent talker if you just nod your head in agreement with what they are saying. That’s my little joke, just to lighten the situation,” I said smiling.

“I tend to go into a shell when I’m with people.”

“You have to be bold and strong forces will come to your aid!”

“How do I develop these skills?”

“Introduce yourself at social gatherings and talk about what you’re interested in, your passions.”

Jim looked apprehensive.

“Make eye contact, show interest in others. It’s a two way street, you talk and then you listen. Ask questions.”

“What kind of questions?”

“Open-ended ones that require more than a one or two word answer. Such as: What do you think about…or How did you get into that line of work?”

“I think I’m getting your drift,” said Jim.

A week later I took Jim to another function. He was completely transformed. He was constantly talking to everyone on the table. I sat there gobsmacked!

“Dave, what’s wrong, you’re not talking!

I shook my head.

“You’ve got a glazed look in your eyes,” said Jim.

“Yes I have, that’s what happens when the conversation wanders away from me!”

Revised Press Release

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Date: 14/03/2014

Contact: Madalena Penny, Clockwork Content Publishing, 07832928110.
Email: madalena@clockworkcontent.com

A Deliciously Dark Second Novel by David Wise

24 Traumatic Hours, Twice! – A story of abduction and horror.

Adolescence is a hard time for any teenager, but for 13-year-old Tom Wilson; it is fraught with terrifying consequences. Abducted twice, young Tom is taken through a disturbing labyrinth of events at the hands of his twisted psychotic captors.  Can Tom survive these ordeals that threaten his life and crush his sanity? Set against the backdrop of 1950′s  Chicago, the tale reveals the horrific events that plague the boy as he struggles with his parents’ bitter divorce and then fights for his life against his kidnappers horrifying agenda.

Published only last month, 24 Traumatic Hours Twice, by David Wise has already received some excellent reviews in these first few weeks of publication.  David who was born and lived his earlier years in Chicago, Illinois now lives in the UK.  His debut novel ‘A Web of Guilt’ published in 2012 was also received with enthusiasm both in the UK and the US.  His new novel ‘The Becoming’ is due to be published later this year and is sure to attract a lot of attention.

“I am pleased with the encouraging reviews 24 Traumatic Hours has received,” said David from his home in England.  “I like to explore the darker side of human nature and glean the effects that people endure under such disturbing situations – you get a sense of what your characters are made of.”

You can buy 24 Traumatic Hours, on the Kindle platform and is available worldwide at £2.05 and $2.99 respectively.  Be sure to join David on both Facebook and Twitter or to find out more about David Wise you can visit him directly at http://www.writerdave.com

 

[ENDS]

- ### -

The Muse

I am a writer and one day while attending a literary lunch, I was seated at a table with four ladies.

Now, I had recently been fighting an extreme case of writer’s block and I felt that I had lost my MUSE!

These four ladies were all of a “certain age” as I am.

I thought: Could one of these ladies be my replacement MUSE?

One lady was a retired math teacher.

One lady was a retired doctor who was an anaesthetist.

One lady was a Merry Widow.

And her friend, was just Merry!

“Ladies, I am looking for a new MUSE. I am considering one of you for the job!”

They all looked at me in amazement!

The retired math teacher said: “That sounds interesting.”

The retired anaesthetist said: “Well, I could put you to sleep and you would feel no pain.”

The Merry Widow said: “I’m up for it, anything for some excitement.”

And finally, Merry said: “What exactly is a MUSE?”

“Well, it’s an inspirational force, usually personified by a woman, that keeps a creative artist full of energy and ideas.”

All the ladies said they would love to be my MUSE.

The retired anaesthetist said: “What would we have to do?”

“You will have to keep me writing by supplying the words that I need. I always need lots of words!”

Everyone seemed to be in agreement that they could fill me with energy and supply lots of words for me. So I folded up four pieces of paper, three were blank, and one said: “You’re my MUSE!”

I put the bits of folded paper in a bag and each lady drew one.

I wondered who would win.

The next thing I knew I was asleep with my pen in my hand!!!

Press Release

David Wise is proud to announce the release of his new e-book named ’24 Traumatic Hours, Twice’ which is now available on Amazon Kindle Books for anyone interested in it to purchase.

The book tells the dramatic story of a young boy who was once abducted by a psychopath and lived through the entire process together with what the outcome will be. This is not everything included in the book, mainly due to the fact that the action takes place twice and everything happens all over again releasing essential psychological traumas the child had, but also showing how he will handle the situation and what the eventual outcome of the series of events taking place will be. The inspiring book has potential to become a worldwide hit if it gathers the right attention and if enough people read and see the impressive way in which David Wise manages to write.

At the current moment, ’24 Traumatic Hours, Twice’ is available on the Amazon market platform and can be purchased with a small price of $2.99 in the USA and  £2.05 in the UK, making it acceptable for all pockets, but also for people willing to have a good read on such a book.

The author was born and bred in Chicago Ill, USA, but now lives in England after moving there a while back. He enjoys calling himself an Anglo-American mainly because of the time he spent in both countries. Regardless of this, he has another e-book published on Amazon Kindle Books which has received the attention of different customers. Its name is’ Web of Guilt, A Chicago Story’ and has been on the market for over a year.

Together with the aspects highlighted above, the author would also like to announce his latest e-book which is in progress at the moment. Its current working title is ‘The Becoming’ and is sure to gather a larger number of fans for this book as well.

In conclusion, ’24 Traumatic Hours, Twice’ represents a great book on kidnapping with a great storyline, which also manages to keep any reader focused. Together with the aspects highlighted above, David Wise can be found both on Facebook and Twitter, but also on his blog: www.writerdave.com

 

Purchase ’24 Traumatic Hours, Twice’ today!

 

Ghost Book Sales From Cyberspace

While checking my social network sites, I ran across something absolutely mystifying! I received a comment with a picture of my mother! The comment was: How have you been son in the last 40 years!

I replied: I’ve been reasonably happy, thank you.

What am I doing? Am I going crazy?

My mother has been dead for 40 years. This is impossible! But there was her picture and comment staring me in the face! Was someone playing a joke on me?

So I replied back asking this person only questions my mother would know the answers to. The answers came back promptly. They were all exactly correct!

So I replied: Wonderful to talk to you again Mom.

The reply came back: Have you accomplished what you wanted to in life son? I remember you wanted to be a writer.

I replied: Yes, Mother, you remembered correctly. I finally accomplished it in my retirement. I have a blog and two books out.

Mom replied: I’m so proud of you, my Son. Remember when you were a boy and I told you to mind your manners, they might come back in style someday.

I replied: Yes, Mom, I remember. You always were one to joke around.

Mom replied: You used to be so timid. Are you standing on your own two feet now?

I replied: Oh yes, Mom, I remember you saying to me that I can’t lean on you always. You made me strong so I could take care of myself.

Mom replied: Oh Son, I thought you were the only perfect child in the world, but of course every mother has one.

I replied: Is there some reason why you contacted me now, after all these years?

The reply came back quickly: Well Son, I’ve been waiting in this line leading up to the Pearly Gates and I’m finally here. Your father is further back.

I asked: It took 40 years to get to the end of the line?

Mom replied: Yes, it’s a very long line! Well, anyway, the chap at the gate now says he’s lost our marriage certificate and he can’t let us in without it!

I replied: What do you want me to do?

Mom replied: I need you to email me a copy via attachment. The email address is: annie@pearlygates.co.heaven.

I emailed the certificate immediately. It’s good I saved all of my parent’s documents!

Mom replied: Thanks Son, your father and I are in! We will check out your two books. By the way, the three people that I got friendly with behind me in line were impressed by your writing career when I told them! I’m signing off now, I love you Son—Click and my Mother was gone!

That night I checked my sales figures and I had sold five more books! This was great! Sales from cyberspace!

Now, I wonder if my Grandparents will contact me from cyberspace?

An Engrossing Read

My second ebook, “24 TRAUMATIC HOURS, TWICE!” By David Wise is out now.

This ebook has all the ingredients of a good page turner, interesting characters, tension and a twist on the father-son relationship.

 

AVAILABLE  NOW  ON  AMAZON  KINDLE

The Dream

I have a comfortable lounge couch in my study that resembles a psychiatrist’s couch. One day I was having writer’s block and I felt extremely tired. So I laid down on the couch and fell asleep.

I had this dream: I was marooned on an uninhabited island. Then I saw this raft appear with this beautiful woman on it drifting in the gentle sea breeze. She was wearing a grass skirt and fig leaves were covering her breast. She was waving to me to swim out to her.

She was curvaceous and long legged, her hair was long and midnight black. Her jade-green eyes were boring a hole through to my soul. She had pouting lips and they were sultry and succulent! Naturally I jumped into the sea and swam out to the raft.

When I got to the raft the beautiful woman had turned into the Grim Reaper! He was a hooded figure with flowing black robes and of course he had a scythe!

The Reaper said:

“Are you ready?”

I said, as I was floating in the water:

“Am I going to die soon?”

The Reaper nodded.

“I want a second opinion,” I demanded.

The next thing I knew, I was in a psychiatrist’s dimly lit office and reclining on his couch. The doctor was an old bearded man with bushy eyebrows, dark penetrating eyes, a falcon’s nose, and I couldn’t see his mouth because of the beard. He had a soothing voice:

“Tell me about your dream.”

I told him about the island and the beautiful woman turning into the Reaper. He stroked his beard.

“What’s the dream mean, Doc?” I stammered.

“Well, a deserted island means you spend too much time alone. As far as the woman and the Reaper, it means stay away from beautiful women, they could be hazardous to your health!”

“Doc, I need to know how I can nullify this nightmare?”

“Have good thoughts before you go to bed.”

He started laughing in a wicked way and then he became the hooded figure!

I woke up in a cold sweat back in my study. I thought:

“I certainly don’t want to have that nightmare again!”

I better stick to my AMERICAN DREAM: driving a BRITISH sports car, smoking a HAVANA cigar, and drinking RUSSIAN vodka on the FRENCH RIVIERA!