Pie Face


Years ago, there was in Chicago, a “Pie in the Face” fad. Comedians were redoing the old pie throwing slapstick. Pies were flying everywhere.

At that time my cousin held a birthday party for his wife. It was summer time and it was held in the back garden.

He decided to have games. One of them was called, “Pie Face”. Everyone drew straws and the one that drew the shortest had to put their head through a hole in a wooden fence, and get pies thrown at their face. Lots of laughs.

My cousin’s wife drew the short straw. It just so happened, that the six guys who were throwing the pies, were baseball pitchers on the local team. These guys don’t miss the target!

Six direct hits with whipped cream pies!

Well, my cousin’s wife got so upset and nervous after that experience, she had to start seeing a psychiatrist. She never was the same again.


I told my cousin not to mess around with pie throwing anymore.

But he didn’t heed my warning. He worked as a journalist on a newspaper, and on a slow news day, he asked his readers what well known Chicagoans they thought should be hit in the face with a pie.

His readers responded by the hundreds, suggesting local celebs, politicians, actors, etc. But the most votes went to a chat show host known for his boisterous, rude, behavior .

So my cousin hired a bloke who was in the pie throwing business, part time. When the chat show host finished his program and walked out into the street, the pie man was waiting, he shoved a whipped cream mess into his face. A photographer recorded the scene and the next day it was in the newspaper.

My cousin told me the phone at his office didn’t stop ringing for days with reactions of civilized citizens who said he was an idiot and a boor.

You really couldn’t argue with them. Having somebody hit in the face with a pie wasn’t exactly an example of subtle British wit.

But it became worse, somebody found out that the guy my cousin hired was an ex-convict and a confidence man who did creative things with credit cards.

These disclosures about his past caused the pie thrower to lose his regular job and he blamed my cousin.

He threatened to sue, but he realized he wouldn’t have much of a case. So he threatened instead to bump off my cousin in true Chicago gangster style.

My poor cousin said, that given a choice, he’d rather be sued!

After awhile the whole silly thing faded away. But many people even today, ask my cousin, “How he could have done such a stupid prank with someone else’s help?”

My relation couldn’t come up with an answer, except the one given by a guy who took off all his clothes and jumped into a nettles patch.

When asked why he did it, he said, “Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time!”


3 thoughts on “Pie Face

  1. I though it was a good idea at the time, but even today when I harvest apples from my grove my wife won’t make pies only apple cake. It’s one of my many mistakes in life, and I have to live with it.

  2. The only personality in Chicago that I can think of was Tom Duggan. He had a TV show and was rude to people, in a humorous way. I’m wondering if that’s who you are referring to in the story.

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