I live alone so I decided to get a pet for company. I was undecided on what to get, until I visited my cousin, who was in a new relationship.
He opened a bottle of wine and we sat listening to mood music while his new lady went into the kitchen to prepare a pasta dish.
Apparently, they met at the gym, on adjoining running machines. My cousin was obviously happy and I congratulated him on his good fortune. Then it walked slowly into the room. It arched its back and hissed at me.
“You have a cat?” I said.
“Yes, isn’t it cute?”
“But you have never been a cat person.”
“It’s hers, now it’s ours.”
“You are allergic to cats.”
“The allergist said this cat has very short hair, so it’s okay.”
“You hate cats, remember?”
“No, you’re mistaken. I like cats,” he said, looking toward the kitchen.
He then picked up the animal and rubbed it under its chin. It then scratched his arm.
“Playful little thing,” he said, wiping the blood away with his hanky.
Just then his lady came in with the appetizers.
“Oh, you’ve been playing with Millie.”
“Millie attacked him!”
“Oh, she’s just playing.”
“Oh yeah, if Millie was bigger I think she’d rip his throat out.”
His lady looked daggers at me. I think she then arched her back.
“I take it you don’t like cats.”
“You’re right there, lady. Ninety per cent of men dislike cats.”
“I know lots of men who like cats.”
“Why would they lie?”
“They are wimps who want to please women. They know most women like cats.”
The cat lady looked at my cousin.
“You like cats don’t you, darling?”
“Yes honey, I love them,” he said, stroking the feline’s head and withdrawing his hand fast before it got his fingers.
“No, he likes dogs. You never read stories about cats recuing people or being watchful and driving off bandits or wolves.”
My cousin’s lady looked at him and said:
“Do you really prefer dogs?”
“Of course not,” my cousin whimpered.
“I hate dogs, they’re barking all the time.”
Well I decided to skip the pasta. I grabbed my coat and hat and left.
The last thing I saw was my cousin trying to tickle the cat behind the ears. It was squirming violently. I think it was trying to scratch his eyes out. My cousin was trying hard to like that cat.
I think cats might be an acquired “like”.
So, what do you think I should get? A cat? A dog? A turtle? Goldfish?…
Well, I finally decided to get a cat, for the challenge!