A new gastro-pub opened up in my neighborhood the other week, so I thought I’d check it out. It was fairly unassuming on the outside, but when I stepped through the doors made of wood and glass, it was another world, an escape from the world’s hub-bub.
The entryway had green stone tiles with stained glass on the interior doors. Walk through the doors and a long wooden bar ran for fifty feet along the wall, with padded green wooden barstools. A long mirror was behind the bar and above the mirror were classical oil paintings. Green Carpet ran through the whole place. Opposite the bar were tables and booths. Oil paintings of Greek gods adorned the wall behind the booths, with low lighting throughout.
I sat down at one end of the long bar, the stools were very comfortable for my kiester. I ordered a margarita and thought this would be a great place to meet people and philosophize, you know, talk about the serious issues of life. I could call it, Dave’s Corner.
Just then a well dressed fella slid onto the stool next to me. I noticed his expensive watch immediately.
“Nice watch you have.”
“Oh, thanks, it’s a gift from my wife.”
“Beautiful, but please tell me what can it do?”
“Do? It tells time, what do you think?”
“For all those bucks, it just tells time?”
I pulled up my sleeve and showed him my watch.
“This does everything, all I do is press buttons. It’s a calculator, alarm clock, stopwatch, it tells me the day, month, and year. It also keeps all my phone numbers in its data base. I merely press a button and all the names and numbers scroll across the watch face.”
My stool mate looked at the watch in amazement.
“This watch only cost me $35.95 plus tax. Yours probably costs $1000.”
My friend nodded.
“This watch conversation usually gets a rise out of people. In fact, I have an acquaintance with a $10,000 watch, that no longer speaks to me.”
“Why is that?”
“Because people like you feel foolish. You spend a lot of money to get information that is hanging on the walls of most homes and offices-the time of day.”
He got up, shaking his head, and walked out of the tavern. I ordered another margarita.
Then another chap, who I hadn’t seen for a long time, sat down next to me. I noticed he was wearing one of those wafer-thin watches.
“Must have cost plenty?” I said, pointing at his watch.
“Yes, quite a bit.”
I started telling him about my bargain watch and he started laughing.
“I can’t believe you’re wearing a nerd watch.”
“What do you mean, this watch does everything.”
“I know all that. That’s why nerds love them.”
“Nerds? What do nerds have to do with it?”
“You know, the computer nuts, the calculator freaks, the number crunchers. I’ve got a young guy in my office who has a watch just like yours. He’s a classic nerd. Keeps four pens, a tiny flashlight, and a peanut butter sandwich in his pocket.”
“My watch has a three-year battery, you know?” I mumbled.
He laughed uncontrollably.
“Who would have thought it? You a nerd. Tell me, whatever possessed you to purchase a watch like that?”
“It was a gift from my wife.”
Tit for tat. Who says that anymore???
I’ glad you’re back to barstool philosophy! But you’ve upgraded the bar. Very classy.
Are you saying its not you fault you look like a nerd, but its your wifes fault. Stand up Dave and take your own credits, and don’t pass the buck.
Larry Primak said:
I have several thin as a dime watches laying on my dresser, which my wife gave me! The watch story is a fun yarn. I wonder how Mark Twain would have enjoyed reading it?
Mark Twain wrote a short story once about his trials and tribulations trying to get his watch repaired. I think he finally gave up in frustration, saying, “a good watch was a good watch until the repairers got a hold of it!”
IT’S TIME TO THINK ABOUT WHAT WE THINK ABOUT. WHEN THAT’S DONE I WILL TAKE THE TIME TO THINK ABOUT WHAT I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT AND THEN I WILL CONTEMPLATE THE THINKING I HAVE DONE.
PLEASE CALL MY DOCTOR AND GET ME SOME HELP.