My cousin and I were having a take-away lunch in the park. It was a beautiful day to be relaxing on the bench, listening to birdsong and watching the human birds pass by.
We were talking about some subject, when I said:
“You know cousin, when we are conversing, there are really SIX people involved!”
“Come on, you’re pulling my leg, there’s only TWO of us here.”
“No, I kid you not. There are three people in my mind while we are talking and there are three people in your mind while we are talking.”
“I don’t believe it. Six people, that would be like talking in a crowd!”
“Cousin, relax, I’ll explain. The other day, someone asked me, how they could beat depression. So I gave them some dos and don’ts about beating depression.”
“What are you now, some kind of agony aunt?”
“Be quiet and listen, you might learn something. Okay, when I gave him my advice, I had an IMAGE of myself speaking. That’s one person. I also had an IMAGE of the person that was listening to me. That’s two people. And finally, I had an IMAGE of how the other person was thinking of me. That’s three people in my mind as I was talking.”
My cousin laughed and said:
“What did the IMAGE think of you?”
“In my mind, the IMAGE thought I knew what I was talking about. So, I decided to give him even more advice.”
“Now, lets go into the other person’s mind. He sees an IMAGE of himself listening to me. Then he sees an IMAGE of me talking on and on. Finally, he sees an IMAGE of himself thinking, “This guy must think I’m an idiot. He’s bombarding me with info.”
My cousin broke in:
“So, all the time you’re thinking, you are fabulous, he’s thinking you’re a jerk.”
“That’s right, cousin, you’re getting the hang of this now.”
My cousin smiled.
“Now, the person I was giving my advice to, walks away coldly and I think “How ungrateful.”
“Boy, that’s quite a story.”
“Yes it is, six people in a two way conversation, sort of a “Transaction of Selves”. Words and nonverbals working together.”
My cousin got up, abruptly, and started walking away.
“Hey, where are you going?”
“I don’t mind one on one talking, BUT I HATE CROWDS!”