Do you want to be strong in your dealings with other people? Of course, you say. Then you want to assert yourself.
There is a difference between assertiveness and aggressiveness!
Aggressiveness—Using violent, hostile and angry behavior and attitudes to be forceful.
Assertiveness—It is the ability to communicate clearly and confidently your needs, wants, ideas, opinions and feelings. When you accept that not everyone in the world will be kind and caring toward you, you realize the need for assertiveness.
To be assertive:
- It means leaving a strong impression on others. You can handle criticism and exploitation and eventually master the situation. Strength is the name of the game and people respect you more when you are strong in your ideas and opinions and you feel you are a worthy, effective person.
- The assertive person doesn’t want or need to ask permission to speak, to think, or to need approval from others, although it’s nice to get it.
- Use your posture and body language to communicate self-confidence. Stand tall and sit erect. Have eye contact and speak in a firm voice.
- You will actively seek out what you want. The assertive person will find the work he wants to do, hobbies that interest him and friends who stimulate and support.
In dealing with life, we need high self-esteem and being assertive will give you this. Being assertive is also having courage, the willingness to confront fear and to stand up to it.
When you assert yourself, first you think, then you do, and after you do, you know and understand.
There is an exception to that statement:
Life is like moving a glass vase. The most important thing is not to drop it. You need to understand that BEFORE you act! Afterwards, you may come to understand how you came to drop it, but the damage is done!
It’s like that when you deal with people’s feelings. If you damage them, it may take a long time just to repair the damage and you may never achieve that!
Can you be assertive and humble at the same time?
Sometimes gentleness is the best attitude, then nobody feels threatened. Some weak people wouldn’t relate well to an assertive person. So, it would be wonderful if we could combine assertiveness with humility.
Assertion can be attained by being forceful and confident without being contemptuous of others. Even when you are being assertive, you can still have reverence for others.
So, you feel good when you are strong, and assertiveness equals strength!
I hope I explained the difference between assertiveness and aggressiveness.