The vicar said when Tom and Jane, who were both divorced, were married:
“To make your marriage work you MUST put your collective interest first, and your individual interest second.”
They both thought this. might be difficult to ACCEPT without question, but they would try.
Tom, with his calculating brain, reasoned that if he put himself second and Jane put herself first, Jane would get the better of the marriage.
His self-interest would be lost!
Jane had similar thoughts.
Both their egos were quivering.
They didn’t trust the other to honour the bargain.
So, secretly, they both looked out for themselves.
The marriage would suffer. But was this the best rational course to take?
This is a conundrum. Two people fighting with themselves to decide what is in their best interests.
We know that cooperation is required to get a good marriage, but neither Tom or Jane can guarantee the other will do the right thing.
Because of their previous relationships their trust had been eroded.
But without trust the second marriage might fail!
What is the moral of the story?
Trust is required to get the most out of life even though we may open ourselves up to exploitation.
But if we don’t trust we close ourselves off from the good things in life.
In the final analysis:
Tom and Jane’s SAFE STRATEGY protects them from the worst of their union, but it also separates them from the best!
WHAT DO Y0U THINK?
Judging by the divorce rate, a lot of people
who said, “I do”–didn’t!!!
Not sure I agree, total trust could be dull, a little spice can enhance. Nice to hear from you Dave. Best for 2020
In my, perhaps naive, opinion, a relationship without trust will never deliver on its potential.
Withholding trust is not a safe strategy.
If you can’t trust, or aren’t willing to trust, the person you are with, then find a person you can trust, or are willing to trust.
TRUST UNTIL PROVEN WRONG, THEN ACCEPT WHAT IS OR MAKE A CHANGE. LIFE IS CHOICES. MAKE THEM.