One rainy day, I was falling asleep in my favorite chair and the doorbell rang. I opened the door and there stood my cousin, looking very forlorn.
“Hello cousin Dave, I need some advice. I’ve got the “retirement blues”.”
“Come on in, cousin Jim, and tell me what’s bothering you.”
Jim plunked himself down in my favorite chair.
“Got a beer?”
I went to the fridge and got two beers and sat down in the straight-backed chair opposite my favorite chair.
“Now, what’s all this about the retirement blues?”
“Well, I’ve been retired six months and I don’t know what to do with myself. And to make matters worse, my memory is failing me!”
“Well Jim, you know I’ve been retired for quite a few years now and I’m very happy in my retirement.”
“That’s why I came to you for advice. My memory is fading and I lose things, keys, glasses, etc.”
“That’s normal for oldies, they call it having “senior moments”. As far as fading memory, memories are unreliable, they get dim and distorted with time.”
“That’s what I was afraid of, cousin Dave.”
“But Jim, there’s a good side to fading memories.”
“Well, when you constantly try to remember things, you create another memory that might be better than the original.”
“Hey, that sounds okay.”
“And one more thing about losing our memories, what happened in cyberspace? Along came Wikipedia to help us!”
“Great, I feel better already. Now, what about my boredom?”
“Well Jim, you know I do a lot of writing in my retirement and that keeps me busy and I enjoy it immensely. I’m working on my autobiography now.”
“That’s it, Dave, I could write my life story.”
“Yes Jim, that would take up a vast amount of your time.”
“Oh boy, I could get back at those schoolteachers and bosses that I hated.”
“Hold on, Jim, to ‘’get back” at people, you would have to write a fictional autobiography. Change all the names and embellish the events.
“The good thing about fictional autobiography is that you could sell it as a novel and get things off of your chest at the same time. It would be great therapy for you.”
“I could get rich and be on the best seller list!”
“Maybe,” I smiled.
“It also would be fun delving into the past and finding out about my relatives.”
“Now Jim, don’t get too carried away. Your ancestors could be as boring as you are!”
“I know what I could do. I could leave my partner. I could find a gorgeous young model.”
I stared at my cousin with my mouth open.
“Oh thank you cousin, for helping me go from the retirement blues to ecstasy!”
Jim drank his beer and left whistling!
The other day I was almost in a car accident. My life passed before my eyes in just a second. The other car missed me. I sat for a moment catching my breath and trying to be calm. I thought about my life passing before my eyes and realized that it was not my life at all. Now, that is what I call, having a boring life.
Hi cousin I was going to say something about your story, but I just had a senior moment and forgot what I was going to say. But I better say thanks for your excellent advise, even though I forgot what it was. Your LLC Jim.
How we do delude ourselves! You and cousin Jim sure have some interesting conversations. Amazing you remember them between all those beers!