Nature Call

One day I was out in my garden soaking up the sun and trying to snooze.Then my next door neighbor stuck his head over my fence and said:

“Hey Dave, I was burgled last night!”

“George, you old duffer, you don’t have anything worthwhile to steal.”

“Well, they took my watch and ring and a little cash. I think the robbers feel us oldies are soft touches. The bum came in through the garden.”

“But you have a dog that sleeps in the garden.”

“Yes, but the rotter threw a hunk of meat down and the dog was quiet while eating and then poor Chester passed out.”

“Sure, the burglar doped the meat.”

“The scary thing is I was asleep and the bum took my stuff off my nightstand only a foot away from me.”

“What did he do, bust a window?”

“No, he came through the back door. I thought I had a strong lock on it.”

“It wasn’t pick-proof.”

“The weird thing was, I heard a noise but I didn’t see anybody. So I went back to sleep.”

“The burglar was probably hiding under your bed. He waited until he heard you snoring and then continued his work.”

“Well, I don’t know what I can do, Dave, to protect myself. I have locks and a watchdog, nothing did any good.”

“Short of getting a shotgun, I’ll tell you what I’d do.”

“Tell me, Dave, I’m all ears.”

“I’d leave the bathroom light on and the door open a crack. Most burglars don’t want a confrontation with someone coming out of a bathroom.”

“Sounds good, Dave, I’ll try that.”

The next night, George left his bathroom light on and the door ajar.

He heard a noise in the middle of the night and tip toed to the bathroom with his baseball bat in his hand. He threw open the door and there was the burglar sitting on the toilet with his gun pointing at George.

He dropped the bat and said:

“What are you doing in my house? The bathroom light was supposed to deter break-ins.”

The criminal smiled.

“Sorry, fella, last night I forgot the silverware, but when I saw the toilet light on, I thought I might as well relieve my call of nature while I was here!”

5 thoughts on “Nature Call

  1. Am I always the last to comment? Once I was first, than I had to go back to see the other comments as they came in. I only read e-mails in the morning. Maybe I should get up in the middle of the night……..Oh no, a burgler might be in the bathroom. Dave, you’re making me crazy.

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