My Long Lost Cousin, in his younger days, was a telephone installer. He related this story to me:
“I was with another installer in a high rise building on the 20th floor. We were putting in several telephones on that floor. A fat lady came out of a flat and said:
“Are you the telephone man?”
Now, I was carrying a few new phones and I thought that was a dumb question.
So, I said: “No lady, we’re plumbers!”
The fat lady smiled and said: “I have a dripping facet, can you come in and fix it?” She had a new washer to install.
She offered me $10, so I had a few minutes to spare and the money would buy the drinks after work.
I proceeded to unscrew the facet and the water suddenly was spurting out all over the bathroom!
“Where’s the stop cock?”
The fat lady said: “I don’t know, I just moved in!”
The water is now coming out of the bathroom into the hallway!
I ran through the apartment looking for the stop cock. I finally found it in the kitchen. I turned the water off!
But now, the water has leaked to the downstairs flat. A big burley guy comes up and grabs me. He shakes me violently!
“Don’t you know your business?” he shouts.
“I’m the telephone man,” I whispered.
“He told me he was the plumber,” said the fat lady.
The burley guy gave me a right hook to the jaw! I ran to the elevator and got out of the building, never to return again!
Well, my cousin’s partner finished the installations that day.
My LLC vowed he would never be a SMART ASS again!
A good story, fits him to a T.
But he is still a smart ass.
Reminds me of the time the neighbor
asked him, what he was doing.
He was working on the car.
But his answer was painting the garage.
This one reminds me of all the handymen I’ve hired and regretted!
Very funny….glad I can do my own repairs for the most. You seems to have a lot of cousins. Lol.
By the way where is the award I nominated you for? The links to your blog are posted and so you need to activate and reciprocate. My readers and Patsy’s will be wondering……
I’m still a smart ass, a while back we were robbed while on a trip, the cops showed up but the thieves got away with a lot of our things. the neighbor had a block party and ask us what was stolen I didn’t think it was really any of their business so I told them they got all my marijuana and drug making equipment. They talked about me for months.
It doesn’t seem like you have made any great progress in awakening LLC. That means we will have many more stories about Jim and his escapades. I look forward to them.
Dave Wise’s latest blog makes for some good laughs with Laurel and Hardy imagination stirrers. The cast of characters in only a few paragraphs cause the rotund lady to mix up a telephone company repairman, who convinces the trusting lady that he’s a plumber. The poor lady has a leaky faucet and offers the :”plumber” $10 bucks to stop the leak. The rest of the blog features lots of uncontrolled water drowning the lady’s apartment and somehow has Dave’s long, lost cousin—a blog regular–in HOT WATER.
You want to meet my double glazing repairer. It took ten minutes to repair the door, but two hours to shut him up.
I think I need to read more of your writing, because I’m not into it quite yet.