The Skeptic

I was sitting next to a chap in the pub, watching TV. And he blurted out:

“I don’t believe it.”

I said, “What don’t you believe?”

“That man on the telly said, if you pick up baby birds and return them to the nest, their mother will reject them. I don’t believe it!” He was shouting now.

“Okay, okay, keep your shirt on. You must be a skeptic.”

“You bet I am, I question everything!”

“That must create a lot of stress.”

“No, no, I don’t have any stress. I love being a skeptic. My motto is:

I’ll believe it, when I see it and I’ll see it, when I believe it!”

“Well, you were right about the birds in the hand being rejected. Birds don’t smell too well, so they wouldn’t be able to tell whether or not humans handled their chicks.”

“I knew it wasn’t true, that’s why I questioned it.”

“But isn’t it strange that so many people hold on to this belief when it’s not true?”

“People are gullible,” he said knowingly.

“I’ll buy you a beer. Two more beers here bartender.”

“I don’t believe it! You are actually buying me a beer! Someone told me you were a tightwad.”

I smiled, “See don’t believe everything you are told.”

“The other day, a fella said to me, “Chameleons change their color to blend in with their surroundings. I told him, I don’t believe it.”

“You are spot on to not believe it, because it’s not true. They change color to communicate their mood, territory and it’s part of their mating behavior.”

“You see, I learn a lot because I question things.”

“So, there’s a reason for you madness?”

“Right.”

We both laughed.

“A lot of people accept faulty reasoning and erroneous beliefs because they don’t think straight about the world. People need more critical faculties.”

“You know you’re a pretty smart chap.”

“You better believe it. I try to be less accepting of superstition and sloppy thinking.”

“So, you have an accurate view of the world.”

“Right, now please excuse me, I have to go home and watch my favorite movie, “Coincidence on 34th street.”

“I don’t believe it,” he shouted.