Remembering that the “ODDS” are us oldies don’t have too long.

Pushes us to be “AWAKE” to every minute and enjoy.

Because almost everything “FALLS AWAY” in the “FACE OF DEATH”

leaving ONLY what is important.

It’s funny that youngsters see OLD AGE as a foreign country!

But really youth and oldies are often a MIRROR IMAGE of each other.

Just as a 20 year old has their whole life AHEAD OF THEM.

Their 80 year old grandfather has a long past to look BACK ON.

The young wonder what will happen in life.

The oldie wonders about their health and how long they can

maintain their INDEPENDENCE.

So what is our TASK as oldies?

It is to make peace with our lives and live for the moment.

We try to focus on the bigger picture.

We want to better prioritise  and appreciate our lives and our relationships with others.

We coped with life’s negatives and hopefully we appreciate life’s positives.

We hope to enjoy the good parts and make the best of the bad ones.

Overall life is more straight forward when you’re old.

We’ve had more years to make mistakes and a lot more chances to learn from them.

You know the road ahead is much shorter and what roads there are, you’re

just going to WALK!

What is the reason we don’t stay in the PRESENT too often?

EVOLUTION says if we spend too much time in the PRESENT our survival could be threatened!!!

What if a mugger sneaks up behind you on the street?

What if anxiety sneaks into your thoughts?

We don’t worry about animals sneaking up on us anymore!

Like Prehistoric Man did!

AWARENESS in the PRESENT is only fleeting but that’s the beauty of it, isn’t it?

But your mind drags you back to where it needs to be…

“I have to remember to buy shower gel.”

“I hate my feet and my face!”

To stay in the PRESENT, you need to practice, only with practice can you unwire and rewire patterns of thought.

The PRESENT IS THE ONLY LIFE YOU HAVE!

LETS BECOME wise people AND MAKE CHOICES. AND TAKE ACTIONS THAT BENEFIT US NOW IN THE NOW.

Instead of the survival of the fittest, lets have SURVIVAL OF THE WISEST!!!

Try to make a difference in ONE LIFE in this world of 7 billion!

I want to make sure that ONE LIFE won’t ever again have to feel powerless and alone.

When I complete my aim, I will have done it!!!  Make a difference in ONE LIFE that is.

So what can us oldies do?

GROW SOME NEW NEURONS

A shortie this time since I just came out of hospital.

Howling at the Moon–expending energy on hoping you can have something that you might Not get.

Also dwelling on your suffering.

Simetimes self-pity is hard to avoid.

We had two full moons in October and one was on Halloween.

I went outside  and howled at the moon on Halloween.

My neighbour thought I was a WEREWOLF!!!

What I want is to shrink my enlarged prostrate so I can pass urine normally.

It will take about 4 months of taking the tablets to shrink it sufficiently.

I will start this week on the pills.

Keep your fingers and ties crossed for me.

In the meantime “HOWL” it’s a great way to let loose and let off steam.

As I look back on my life I see it more as a Comedy than a Tragedy. A comedy in which you have a great big belly laugh while your heart is breaking.

One of the most important things I learned on my life journey is to live in the present moment for it’s the ONLY LIFE YOU HAVE.

The Present Moment is your REFUGE. The present is a place providing safety and contentment. It’s where your good functioning and mental health resides.

Your Healthy Functioning is your peace of mind, your satisfaction with life at the moment, your contentment and it allows your mind to feel at rest. It allows you to enjoy the present, rather than struggle and fight the ebbs and flows of life.It allows you to remember that the most important thing in life is ENJOYING IT and feeling INNER PEACE.

What is life?

Life is a constant series of present moments to be experienced one right after another. Constantly living in the “NOW.”

Living in the Present means you are focusing on what is happening Right Now. You know your life is too important to worry about the past or future.

Living in the Present makes worry fade away because rather than worrying about what might happen, your thinking is focused on what is the best you can do right now.

You have to let go of worry and struggle because it is a waste of time, energy and your life.

Conscious breathing exercises will keep you in the Present.

Remind yourself how wonderful life is when you aren’t worrying about the future and you’re living in the present.

The past is history. The future is a mystery.The present is the only life you have.

Always appreciate the gift of another new day.

You handle old age by LIVING in the moment and FOR the moment.

LIVE YOUR LIFE IN THE PRESENT MOMENT AND BE GRATEFUL THAT YOU HAVE THAT MOMENT!

Why doesn’t the world cooperate better on SHARED problems?

Because the global thinking is on Trade and Economics NOT on other priorities such as Public Health and Climate Change.

We need to reconfigure Globalisation with more emphasis on Public Health and Climate and a more relaxed approach to economics, trade and finance.

Define Globalisation–the process by which businesses and organisations develop international connection and start operating on an International scale.

What about the World Health Organisation?

It could become the central instrument of a refigured Globalisation.

But right now people are critizing the WHO for not jumping on China right away(shutting down air travel etc.)

It underestimated the magnitude of the China contagion.

Not much global harmony when the blame game starts!

We need to build a globalisation for Public Health, aimed at preventing and stopping pandemics.

The WHO could create an early warning system, a common info base, and large medical research and vaccine development budgets.

Another priority for Globalisation could be to focus on our environmental challenges.

It could create worldwide binding emissions quotas maybe even carbon taxes.

Covid 19 has exposed the need for new priorities in Globalisation.

The virus defies national borders and just spills over from country to country.

The effort made recently to secure trade agreements between countries have yielded only modest to no success.

What if that effort was made to preparing for pandemics and limiting green house gases?

We would have been better prepared and maybe the fall in global income wouldn’t have been so bad.

So the pandemic had uncovered the frailty of all human beings and the arrangements we have devised to co-exist on this Earth.

So we have to change our global thinking to take something of value from this dark time.

We need to forge a different and better world out of this crisis.

What made me write this blog is that I was asked:

“How would you approach the coronavirus pandemic, ATTITUDE WISE, if you had to go through it all over AGAIN?”

Now there’s a horrible thought for you!

So, lets set the scene: Bear with me on this, there is a point.

A wicked witch whispers in your ear when you are just falling off to sleep:

“This life you are living and have lived it, you will have to live it ONCE MORE and there will be nothing new in it, every pain and every joy, every sigh and sadness, everything small of great in your life will return to you, all in the same succession and sequence.

In other words, the hourglass of your life will be turned over AGAIN!

So the events stay the same.

The ONLY thing you could CHANGE would be your ATTITUDE toward them.You could change the way you thought or felt about something.”

“What is the purpose of this, I asked.”

“It is a THOUGHT EXPERIMENT to test your relationship to your life.”

Consider these questions:

Do you celebrate being ALIVE?

Do you savour your moments, even the painful or challenging ones?

Would it be wonderful to savour them AGAIN? Why?

If you feel horrified by this experiment, this suggests that you are NOT making the most of your time on this earth.

But if you wouldn’t mind going through it all again, that means you LOVE your fate and you accepted it OR you are content with the meaning you have created in your life.

There are some memories a person has that they wish they didn’t have to re-live.

On the other hand, it would be great to re-live memories of family and friends.

So there would probably be an INTENSIFICATION of one’s feelings, both good or bad about the past.

The knowledge that you would have to live all past events over again, would change the way you feel about them and regard them. So, your attitude toward them would change even though the events themselves are NOT changing.

Looking back over your life would you have a more positive attitude towards events, good or bad?

Yes, because if you have to live them over again, your good attitude would help you go through the bad ones and it would help you to REALLY enjoy the good ones.

Something to think about in the Present!

Living your life over again with no changes but attitude would probably make you attend to your experiences more and live a more vivid life.

Can you think of all the times in your past that would have been better if your attitude at the time was more positive?

So, by changing your ATTITUDE towards events in your life, you make sure it’s a life worth reliving and one you could love.

So here’s the trick: It makes sense to have a positive attitude towards your life, one that is worth loving, even if it only happens ONCE!

FOOD FOR THOUGHT!

Now back to the original question:

If I had to go through the pandemic all over again how would I change my attitude toward it?

At the beginning of the lockdown I was fearful and at the same time, angry that my life was being severely restricted. Fearful of the uncertainty and the impending dufficulty of obtaining food supplies. I was fearful for my future and my wife’s since we were elderly and this lockdown would take a CHUNK OF TIME OUT OF OUR LIVES.

But now I’ve decided to approach it with a more positive and upbeat attitude.

Eventually we will be able to meet family and friends and maybe, just maybe, things might change for the better after it’s over.

The world might be better prepared for the next pandemic and maybe people will value their present moments more and enjoy them.

People might think about what’s really important in life such as, enjoying your family and friends more and being more content in your life. And maybe, there’s a lot of maybes, a more unified world would emerge.

So, if I had to live it all over again, I would try NOT to be so fearful and angry at the first and to think how it could be better when it’s over.

So, this story of living your life over again, gives you a good reason, attitude wise, to make the rest of your life a life worth living OR does it simply make everything meaningless?

In conclusion, I believe we have to find our OWN meaning in our lives.

When you’re living with an uncontrollable situation and/or illness strikes, life is turned upside down!

The Truths:

LIFE IS SUFFERING: In between suffering you have some pleasant experiences, some longer than others.

This truth describes the conditions of life that are shared by all humans.

Birth, aging, illness, sorrow, pain, grief and death. Plus losing what we cherish.

Notice none of the conditions are pleasant experiences, they are mentally and physically painful.

This is a honest assessment of the human condition.

When these conditions occur we need to learn how to respond wisely–Accept them and carry on.

It is the relentless effort to ESCAPE what we CANNOT ESCAPE and to CHANGE what we CANNOT CHANGE that leads us to dissatisfaction with life and suffering.

When we resist painful experiences we CREATE suffering.

ACCEPTANCE of “WHAT IS” is the way to contentment and less suffering.

WANT/DON’T WANT MIND–We want ONLY pleasant experiences and we don’t want unpleasant ones. This creates suffering. The human condition doesn’t operate this way.

The end of mental suffering is possible even when suffering in body.

The path to inner peace: Wise Understanding–knowing what to expect in life.

Wise Action–Enjoy the present moment, it’s the only life you have.

With the end of suffering comes enlightenment, liberation , freedom and peace of mind.

NOTHING IS PERMANENT–Anything can happen at any time.

With impermanence comes uncertainty and unpredictability.

This brings stress and anxiety because we crave security and assurance.

WE DON’T CONTROL MUCH OF OUR EXPERIENCE!

OH, HOW WE LONG FOR PEACE OF MIND!

So what’s the best way to get through the day?

Go through the motions one day at a time.

Stay calm and keep on keeping on.

Enjoy the present, it’s the ONLY life you have!

Reflect on Impermanance–the fact that every aspect of my life is uncertain, unpredictable and in constant flux.

Look after each moment, cherishing what you STILL CAN DO, and being aware that everything could change in an instant.

EQUANIMITY–is a sublime state, it is mental calmness in a difficult situation.

When you dwell in Equanimity, you are able to stand up to whatever is present in the moment, including unpleasant experiences, with a mind that is at peace.

When you’re ill, you can’t predict what symptoms will hit you on a particular day.

That’s why we have good days and bad days.

I am resigned to the fact that I might be ill for the rest of my life. If that’s the case, I know that I feel better the more I can ACCEPT that possibility without bitterness.

Try to accept the unexpected complications that arise in you life. Then you won’t suffer mentally.

Don’t Complain, complaining creates suffering!

When you’re old, there’s lots to complain about:

On going aches and pains, loss of the inclination and the ability to do things, and uncertainty about the future.

Most complaining centres around our desire to control what’s happening to us.

We don’t control much, but we can respond with acceptance and calmness.

Complaining makes you more stressed and unhappy.

MINDFULNESS is the practice of turning your attention “with care” to your experience at the moment.

With care means paying attention with kindness and compassion.

This can help you make peace with your life as it is at the moment.

You must keep your boat afloat!

You can go through the motions TODAY, one day at a time.

And ENJOY the day as much as possible because it’s the ONLY life you have.

CARRY ON!

The older I get the more I think about life trying to understand it all.

Here are some thoughts to ponder:

We who are OLD know that AGE is more than a disability.

It is an intense and varied experience, almost beyond our ability to handle at times.

–Being OLD I feel at odds with and different from the times, and it is confusing and frustrating. Almost like the current times are NOT for old people!

–When we are OLD we withdraw from the active world, BUT strangely, we are more ALERT to it than ever before.

–OLD people have so little personal life that the impact of the impersonal is huge.

Some of us feel like sounding boards, observing, reading; the outside world startles us and we ask: Where will it all lead? What effect will it have on people? How different will they become?

–At night when I lay on my back in bed I think about my problems and in doing so I endure many sleepless hours. The problems go deep into my solar plexus where I manifest my emotions.

–OLD people are NOT protected from life by engagements, pleasures or duties; we are open to our own feelings and perceptions. Our one safety is to draw in and enjoy the present, the simple and the immediate. It may be dull and restricted, but it can be satisfying within our own world.

–Being OLD I do more observing of others, but I only EXPERIENCE MYSELF.

–Disabilities crowd in on the OLD; real pain is there, and if we have to be falsely cheerful, it is part of our ISOLATION.

–We OLD people are short tempered because we suffer so. Little things become big, nothing works well, our bodies have become unreliable. We keep one eye on death, is it a return to nothingness? We’re uncertain, so Enjoy the Day.

–When a new ache and pain arrives I look about to see if death has come and I say: “Death is that you? Are you there?” So far the pain has answered, “Don’t be silly, it’s only ME,”

–Our task is BALANCE, keeping just well enough, just brave enough, just gay and interested enough to remain a sentient person. Sentient means able to perceive and feel things and think straight.

–This morning when I woke, I knew I had a fair night, that my pains were NOT too bad. I pulled back the curtain and see the sky and I say: “My dear, dear day, it’s great to be ALIVE.”

–Age is a desert of time–hours, days, weeks, perhaps years–with little to do! So I have ample time to face everything I have had, been and done. Gather them all in, the things that came from outside and those from inside. We have time, at last, to make them truly ours by reflecting on them.

–Loved ones lost opens the gates on suffering. The pain of losing a loved one is terrible! In parting you feel impoverishment. Then suffer–it is all one can do. How can I carry it? But I must. But I cannot just suffer, so I grope for a way of dealing with it, how to grasp it, searching for any insight that might help.

–Our sorrows are a burden for us and others. If it were possible, it might be better to show nothing, but this is unreal and inhuman. You express sorrow to get rid of a little of it. After a while others say: “Better today? Good, alright now?” You must answer, ” Alright, thank you.” You must accept your burden and be pleasant.

–Hardihood is a quality created by hardship and difficulty. It’s a stimulating virtue. Some people are disciplined by hardship. I admire people who can take what comes to them.

–Sometimes I tell people: “You have neat, tight expectations of what life ought to give you, but you won’t get it!” Life doesn’t accommodate you, it shatters you! Every seed destroys its container or else there would be no fruition. But some don’t pay attention so they shatter themselves by their ignorance of life.

–Sometimes I think badly of life and this mortifies me. What do I know? How dare I judge? Life is cruel and kind. I didn’t like the bad things that have happened to me but I know I needed them to make me STRONG! So, is hardship justified if you learn from it? NO! There is too much of it in life, hardship that is. But life has to be hard at times to have any effect on us; even now we hardly notice it. We take it for granted!

–When we get sick we don’t want to die, but on second thought, I’ve had good innings. Now each day is a gift. An extra day in which I may gain some understanding of life, see beauty, feel love. But all this is the perception and feeling by which I SURVIVE.

–When OLD you live like a watchful ghost. You need NOT plan holidays because you can’t take them. You are past all action, all decision. The OLD are almost FREE, our lives are empty and sometimes this is elevating. We only have our thoughts for company. You wait in silence and listen to the emptiness.

–No matter what Old Age brings, you still want to travel on the ROCKY ROAD OF LIFE!

“Tom, before we answer the title question lets consider Courage and Wisdom.

“Fine by me, Dave.”

“Courage is the most important virtue because without it, no other virtue could be practiced consistently!”

“Dave, we need courage all our life but even more so in old age.”

“Yes Tom, we need it to face the trials of old age: Facing our mortality plus aches and pains and illness.”

“We also need the moral strength to stand up for our convictions and inner strength to stand up to uncontrollable situations.”

“Dave, are you courageous?”

“Well Tom, I try to do what needs to be done in different situations, if that’s courage, then Yes I Am.”

“Good answer, Dave, you rise to the challenge.”

“We need courage to conquer fear. Courage is strengthened over a lifetime of handling difficult situations.”

“Dave, I’ve just had a pithy thought…When we shape our lives by our choices, we shape ourselves!”

“And also Tom, the choices we make are our own responsibility.”

We both powered that statement.

“Now about Wisdom, we need it to survive.

If we thought we knew all there was to know, we wouldn’t be open to learning new things.”

“What constitutes wisdom, Dave?”

“Wisdom involves the ability to make good decisions in uncertain situations.”

“Dave, I wonder if old people, like ourselves, have an advantage in wisdom.”

“Maybe Tom, because of their years of experience they can:

See events from multiple perspectives.

Use compromise to find solutions.

Deal well with uncertainty.

Recognise that changes are part of life.

Resolve conflicts.”

“Do you pay attention to life’s lessons, Dave?”

“I try Tom. One thing I’ve learned is NOT to expect too much from life and to do things that make me feel good, like helping others.”

“Oh Dave, you’re so WISE.”

“Well Tom, life is too short not to do things that feel good.”

“Now, about the title of this blog’s question:

Older and Wiser or is it No Fool Like an Old Fool?”

Ponder! Ponder!

I’d say it’s 50/50!!!

What say you?”

Questions that haunt your old age:

Am I still the person I have spent a lifetime becoming?

How do I grow older and remain myself?

“Hey Tom, do you realise in old age there is still a “ME” that continues changing and growing?

“Well Dave, I certainly hope I’m still “ME.”

“You are Tom, BUT what is this ME?

I’ll answer my own question.

Well at it’s core is CHARACTER, a stable and developing part of you.

Your ME grows over the years as your circumstances change. ME’NESS is the AGELESS SELF.”

“Well Dave, I try to keep my mind busy and ticking over by staying abreast of current events.”

“Same here, Tom. We try to balance our older identity by defining ourselves differently–for example, You are still You, just a different version that gets winded on the stairs.

Old Age causes changes BUT there still is a core identity underlying those changes.”

“I know one thing, Dave, I have a LONG past to look back on. But I wonder about the future.”

“We wonder about our health and how long we will be able to be independent.

But in our old age we must make peace with our lives.”

“Hey Tom, do you know how to handle the thought all of us oldies have, namely, that the end is in sight?”

“You sure know how to SCARE a fellow, Dave.

But I imagine you live for the moment.”

“One thing I know is that I’ve had a lot more years to make mistakes and a lot more chances to learn from them.”

“I have many fears in old age.”

“Well Tom, lets look at Character Strengths and Virtues that might help stop those fears so we can enjoy the present much more.”

We both pondered our discussion so far.

“Tom, do you know what we are referring to when we talk about Character?”

“Are we referring to strengths that will help us cope with old age and help us to feel like we are living meaningful lives?”

“Right on, Tom, you’re getting with the program now.

Some people think survival is a matter of LUCK.

But really it is a matter of cultivating qualities that help us survive.”

“One thing we oldies have learnt through our lifetimes is that we don’t control much in life.”

Tom looked quizzical.

“But, the one thing you can Control is YOURSELF.

How you use your strengths wisely.”

“Dave, how do character strengths and virtues come about?”

“Well, my friend, they grow out of life crises and how they sustained us through them.”

“I get it, Dave, through old age and adversity we learn our limitations and our strengths.”

“Right, you are, Tom.Our virtues and strengths are:

Transcendence, Humor, Humanity, Courage, Wisdom, Temperance, Pass wisdom to the young and appreciating the cycle of life, including the END.”

“That’s quite a list!”

“We will discuss these in future blogs.

I know you will look forward to these posts.”

PONDER.

“Remember, Tom, we oldies are survivors of life.”

PONDER.

“I will leave you with this profundity:

Somebody once asked me what time of life did I like best, I said,

“NOW.”